Mini Sirloin Burgers, Major Disapointment

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm susceptible to clever marketing. I can't help it!

I happened to see Jack in the Box's Mini Sirloin Burger commercial last weekend and thought it was hilarious. If you haven't seen it, you should: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xXkmvrT_e8. I don't eat fast food and the burgers didn't look particularly appetizing, but the commercial was brilliant so I decided that Jack deserved my business.

The adventure begins. On a dark, cold winter night... I convinced my roommate, BJ, that it would be a GOOD idea to drive all the way out to Jack in the Box to try their new Mini Sirloin Burgers. Of course, the only Jack in the Box in Eugene is way out west on 6th street in the middle of nowhere. We got to the drive through and BJ commented on how nice the menu looked. It's true, it was clean, easy to read... there were even nice little pictures (remember this, it will be important later). We decided on the Mini Sirloin Burgers, the Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Burgers, and a medium curly fry.

We pulled up to the microphone to order and sat there for a couple minutes. I'm not sure about drive through etiquette, but I thought the person working the window was supposed to speak first. After a while I said, "Hello?" Then the speaker box shouted back at me and we ordered.

The car in front of us had Massachusetts plates and a "Masshole" bumper sticker. Classy. I remember because we sat behind that car for about 15 minutes. Not exactly "fast" food. When we finally got up to the window the Jack in the box employee, who I will call Wendy, informed us that they were training a new cook and it would be a few minutes. After having already spent 10 minutes driving, and 20 minutes waiting in the drive through, I asked Wendy very politely, "What are we talking about? 10 minutes?" She looked at me and smiled and said, "Oh 10 or 20. Ha ha ha ha. Just kidding. It'll be a little while. Can I get you to pull into the front parking lot? I'll bring it out to you." 5-10 more minutes pass.

Wendy hobbles out of the store and attempts to run toward my car. She hands me the bag and we drive off. BJ immediately starts eating. The little burgers aren't great, but they're not that bad. Plus, they're mini, so that's pretty great. When BJ opened the second package, which was supposed to contain the Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Burgers, he found three mini buns, some random condiments, and a regular-size hamburger patty cut in half and spread over the three little buns. WTF Jack in the Box?

So, we went back. 10 more minutes in transit. This time I went in. Wendy came to the counter and said it would just be a few minutes. The people waiting for their orders behind me snickered. 5 minutes later Wendy was back. I explained the situation, and showed her the three little buns oddly spread over the halved, regular burger patty. "Hmm, that's not right." she said, and took the box from me. "What did you order?" I showed her my receipt and asked for the Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Burgers. She walked toward the kitchen, 10 feet away, and called, "Does anybody know where the chicken is? Has anyone heard of these chicken burgers? Do we even make a chicken burger? Oh I found the chicken. I guess this is it. I'm putting it on the grill."

I couldn't help but laugh. EVERYONE in the restaurant could hear her. We were all laughing. When she came out she looked at me and said, "Now don't get scared yet. Is this chicken thing on the menu?" I nodded and pointed at the menu. Wendy walked toward me so she could get a better look at the menu and exclaimed, "Oh good, there's a picture. I can make this. Don't get scared. Hmmm... It definitely has chicken. I bet it has the buffalo sauce. Maybe ranch." Most of these key ingredients could have been deduced from reading "Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Burgers."

Another 5-10 minutes of waiting. I just stood there and smiled and laughed while Wendy and the new cook tried to construct the Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Burgers from the picture on the menu. What else could I do? Finally, Wendy handed me the bag. I checked the little burgers and they were, in fact, some form of chicken and there were, in fact, three little patties and three little buns. Good enough.

BJ and I both ate part of a Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Burger (or whatever Wendy had made us), but by that point we were both kind of "over" the whole experience. Plus, I'm pretty sure the new cook put buffalo sauce, ranch, and yellow mustard on our mini chicken treats. Not a fantastic combination.


The adventure took over an hour and the mini burgers were a major disappointment... but wow... what an experience!